Navigating a child custody battle can be one of the most challenging aspects of a divorce or separation.
On an emotional level, you have to deal with the fact that a judge who doesn’t know you or your family gets to decide how often you get to see your own children. On a practical level, the decision regarding partial custody, full custody, or no custody will determine the trajectory of your children’s lives.
Helpful Tips for Winning Your Case
As you approach your child custody case, there are some important principles that you’ll want to understand and lean on.
Here are five tips that are especially helpful:
1. Document Absolutely Everything
When you’re involved in a child custody dispute, documentation is your best friend. Keeping accurate records of everything related to your child’s care and your interactions with your co-parent is essential. This could include things like medical records, school reports, and a detailed log of your child’s daily routine.
You should also keep a journal that notes the time and date of every interaction you have with your child and their other parent. Document visits, phone calls, and any relevant events—both positive and negative. For instance, if your ex constantly cancels or is late for scheduled visits, write it down. If you’ve made specific efforts to maintain your child’s routine or provide for their emotional needs, note that as well.
This documentation will provide the court with a clear picture of your involvement in your child’s life, showing that you’re dedicated and responsible. It may also help discredit any false claims made by the other parent.
2. Follow Legal Advice to the Letter
Your attorney is there to guide you through the legal system, so it’s imperative that you listen to and follow their advice. Child custody cases are often complex, and one misstep could negatively impact your chances of getting the custody arrangement you’re seeking.
Make sure you understand your lawyer’s recommendations, and don’t be afraid to ask questions if anything is unclear. Whether it’s advice about court orders, behavior during mediation, or how to communicate with your ex-partner, your attorney knows what’s best from a legal standpoint.
Additionally, follow court orders to the letter. This includes showing up to scheduled visitations on time and complying with any agreements, such as temporary custody arrangements or co-parenting classes. Any deviation from these orders could be used against you in court, painting you as uncooperative or unreliable.
3. Prioritize Your Child’s Well-Being
It’s important to show that you are focused on your child’s best interests above all else.
As Brian Walker Law Firm explains, “Child custody will always be decided based on the best interests of the child and sometimes these decisions are extremely difficult for parents to make.”
Courts make custody decisions based on what’s best for the child, not what’s best for the parents. Therefore, your actions should demonstrate that your child’s well-being is your top priority.
One way to do this is by maintaining as much stability and consistency as possible for your child. Keep up with their regular activities, such as school, extracurriculars, and social events. Ensure they have a safe and stable home environment and be attentive to their emotional and physical needs.
You should also be mindful of how you speak about the other parent in front of your child. Speaking negatively about your co-parent, even if you’re angry or frustrated, can be harmful to your child and could be used against you in court. The court wants to see that you are willing to foster a healthy relationship between your child and their other parent.
4. Be Cooperative and Respectful
While it may be difficult, especially if your separation was contentious, make sure you remain cooperative and respectful throughout the child custody process. Judges appreciate parents who are willing to work together for the sake of their children. If you show that you’re open to compromise and co-parenting, it could work in your favor.
This doesn’t mean you should agree to terms that you’re uncomfortable with, but being reasonable and flexible shows the court you’re focused on the child’s needs rather than engaging in a power struggle with your ex.
Maintain a respectful attitude in court, towards your ex, and in front of your child. Avoiding conflict and focusing on effective communication can strengthen your case and demonstrate that you are a mature, responsible parent.
5. Present Yourself Well in Court
When it comes time for court appearances, your demeanor and how you present yourself can have a significant impact. Appear professional, calm, and composed when in court. This includes dressing appropriately, speaking clearly and respectfully, and maintaining a respectful attitude toward the judge, your ex, and your attorney.
Your behavior during the court proceedings will be closely observed, and any outbursts, aggressive language, or dismissive attitudes could harm your case. Judges want to see that you are level-headed and capable of maintaining your composure, especially when dealing with a high-stress situation like child custody.
Give Yourself an Advantage
The more prepared you are going into your child custody case, the more likely that you’ll end up with an outcome you’re satisfied with. By doing your research in advance and working closely with your attorney, you can put yourself in an advantageous position!